Introduction
Dealing with a narcissist can be difficult and exhausting. Narcissistic individuals often have an inflated sense of self-importance and can be manipulative, controlling, and even abusive. If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, it’s important to take control away from them. This article will provide practical tips for doing so and living a life free of abuse and manipulation.
Identifying Behaviors
One of the first steps to taking control away from a narcissist is to identify their behaviors. Narcissists often use various tactics to control those around them. Common behaviors include:
- Gaslighting: This is manipulation designed to make you question your own sanity. They may make you feel like you’re overreacting or imagining things.
- Stonewalling: This behavior is characterized by refusal to communicate or discuss certain topics. They may give you the silent treatment or refuse to acknowledge your concerns.
- Guilt-tripping: Narcissists often attempt to make you feel guilty for not doing what they want. They may use phrases like “If you loved me, you would…” or “You owe me.”
The first step to taking control is recognizing these behaviors. Pay attention to patterns of behavior and notice when they try to manipulate you. For example, if you find yourself questioning your own sanity or feeling guilty for not meeting their demands, it’s likely that you’re dealing with a narcissist.
It’s important to respond to these behaviors in a way that takes back control. For example, if they’re gaslighting you, you could say something like, “I know what I’m feeling is real, and I won’t let you make me question my sanity.”
Setting Boundaries
Setting boundaries is a critical step for taking control away from a narcissist. This means deciding what you will and won’t tolerate in the relationship. Consider the types of behaviors that you will no longer put up with and communicate your boundaries effectively. Some examples might include:
- Refusing to engage in arguments where you know that you won’t be heard, no matter how much you try to make your point.
- Setting limits on when and where you interact with the narcissist. For example, you might decide not to engage in interactions outside of your shared work setting or when you’re emotional or angry.
- Defining triggers that must be avoided, such as not discussing certain topics or not staying in the same physical space together for extended periods.
It’s important to communicate these boundaries effectively and to be prepared for pushback. Narcissists don’t like to have their control taken away, and they may resist your efforts to establish boundaries. Be firm but respectful, and don’t engage in arguments or give them the reaction that they’re looking for. Be clear in your message and repeat if necessary.
Limiting Contact
If the relationship with the narcissist is too toxic, sometimes the best course of action is to limit contact as much as possible. This may mean creating physical, emotional, or psychological distance. Ways to do this may include:
- Avoiding social situations where they’re likely to be present. At the very least, avoid any events where you’re likely to be pressured to cooperate with the narcissist’s wishes/ demands.
- Avoiding unsolicited interactions, such as calls, texts or e-mails. Likewise, if you’re not ready to let go, try to keep interactions as transactional as possible, sticking to polite greetings and few words.
- Limiting one-on-one interactions with the narcissist. For example, you might avoid spending time with them privately and instead limit interactions to when others are around.
It’s important to remember that limiting contact with a narcissist is not about punishing them, but rather protecting yourself from abuse and manipulation.
Educating oneself
Understanding NPD can be really helpful in identifying and managing the narcissist in your life. If you’re dealing with a narcissistic individual, learning about NPD can help you gain perspective and handle confrontations better. There’s no lack of literature available on NPD, both online and offline. Be sure to take advantage of these resources.
It’s important to remember that you are not to blame for their behavior. It’s not your fault that they have NPD, and it’s not your responsibility to fix them. Instead, focus on managing the relationship with them and taking steps to protect yourself from their behavior.
Finding Support
Dealing with a narcissist can be emotionally exhausting and can have a negative impact on your self-worth. Engaging in activities that reinforce a positive sense of self-worth can help. Consider building a support system of trusted friends and family members who can offer non-judgmental advice and support.
Additionally, finding mental health resources such as support groups or online forums can be really helpful. You don’t have to go through this alone.
Focusing on self-care
Self-care is essential when dealing with a narcissist. This means taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. For example, you may want to:
- Exercise regularly to reduce stress and boost your mood
- Eat a healthy and balanced diet
- Engage in mindfulness practices such as meditation or yoga
- Prioritize activities that you enjoy and that make you happy
Make sure to prioritize your health and well-being. Doing so will give you the strength you need to take control of the situation as needed.
Therapy Sessions
Working with a mental health professional can be beneficial when dealing with a narcissist. Consider seeking out a therapist who specializes in helping those who have been in relationships with a narcissist.
One of the benefits of therapy is that you can get an expert’s opinion and effective approaches to dealing with the relationship. Another advantage is that it gives you a space to talk about your feelings without judgment. Remember that you are not alone and that professional help is often essential for healing from narcissistic abuse.
Conclusion
Dealing with a narcissist can be challenging, but it’s not impossible. By taking control of the situation and prioritizing your own well-being, you can free yourself from the abuse and manipulation that may be keeping you in the relationship. Remember that you deserve a life free from abuse and manipulation. Take the steps to make it happen, and find the help you need along the way.
